Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops