How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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