Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +14

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My wife made me a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops