Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Black people having a Job.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Laugh

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops