What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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