Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

what do fish smoke? sea weed

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

You know what's cool? Yep.

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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