What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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