Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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<=3 penis

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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