What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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I grunt when I poop.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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