No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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