- Anti Joke

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

brock has small hands for a small job

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

I bet you read this. Told ya.

Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant

What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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