How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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squash squash who squash my ass

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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