Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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