A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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