a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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