what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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hi bye

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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