What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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