How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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I would rape her

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How old are you? 20

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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