Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A shark ate your mom

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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