Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Ron Paul for President!

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops