Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Your all fags

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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