Neither have I

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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Knock knock Come in

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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woman's rights

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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black people

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops