Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

thumb_up thumb_down -5

so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Thumbs this up

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

tee hee

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -7

k

thumb_up thumb_down -7

haha. i got blocked too!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops