Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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I grunt when I poop.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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