what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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tom pauling

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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7

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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