A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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your mom died.

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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nipple

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Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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