your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

What's brown and sticky? A stick

cats are pussies

What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...