Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops