Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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how did the man die he didnt

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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