Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Alchohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ron Paul for President!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

thumb_up thumb_down -19

r u smart..... or ur black

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops