What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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