never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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Barack Obama

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Breast cancer.

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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