Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

thumb_up thumb_down +2

They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops