What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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hi

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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