Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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