Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops