why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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