What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

matt f stupid because no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +7

one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops