- Anti Joke

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.