A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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