Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Potassium? K.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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