yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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What comes after 69? 70

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock knock.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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