Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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