Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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