What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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A black person dies.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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