How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...