Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What would u like to drink?

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Please ignore this statement.

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops