Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

thumb_up thumb_down +18

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops