Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Scumbag steve walks into his friend's dorm room, and finds out he has epilepsy. He then flicks the lights on and off really fast

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops