If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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